Professional and personal lens
I'm learning something: You can't base your personal life off of your professional life. I mean that in one specific way, although I imagine this will become clear to me in other ways, too.
In my mind, my professional lens is the social work one. In that lens, I see all people as worthy of the same quality of care, and to be treated with the same respect. I value their inherent similarities and differences. I approach things with a trauma-informed lens and I am careful not to give too much advice, because my role is as facilitator and guide for people who are truth- and help-seeking, not doer/finger-pointer.
In my personal life, this is mostly the same. But I also am much more willing to give advice, be an educator/and finger-pointer when needed. I was talking to my best friend last weekend and I realized I was trying to hold back on something important we were discussing, because I didn't want to give advice. Then I thought, wait - she's my friend. NOT my client. I'm THE person to give her advice. I'm THE person to tell her what I think because that's what friends do (with the best of intentions, of course).
Another thing is that I can't get frustrated with people in my personal life for not having the same problems as the people in my professional life. I know someone who is very, very lucky and also constantly complains about her lot in life and how challenging it is. This person is depressed because she thinks she doesn't have enough. Compared to the lives of my clients, this person has it all - a loving family, friends, ready access to transportation, health, lots of money, nature, a beautiful home, good food, hobbies, and much more. I want to snap at this person, you have it all! STOP COMPLAINING!
But when I roll down my professional lens, I see that this person is also struggling and I cannot judge this person just because my clients have it rougher. Everyone's situation feels pressing to them. This person is just as deserving of love and sympathy as those who are materially and physically lacking. On a spiritual level, my clients and this person are likely in deficit just as much.
Therefore, my personal and my professional lenses must be different (but are also part of the whole lens that makes up me and how I see the world). A whole different topic, relatedly, is how much my professional lens has benefited my personal one - but that's for another day.
In my mind, my professional lens is the social work one. In that lens, I see all people as worthy of the same quality of care, and to be treated with the same respect. I value their inherent similarities and differences. I approach things with a trauma-informed lens and I am careful not to give too much advice, because my role is as facilitator and guide for people who are truth- and help-seeking, not doer/finger-pointer.
In my personal life, this is mostly the same. But I also am much more willing to give advice, be an educator/and finger-pointer when needed. I was talking to my best friend last weekend and I realized I was trying to hold back on something important we were discussing, because I didn't want to give advice. Then I thought, wait - she's my friend. NOT my client. I'm THE person to give her advice. I'm THE person to tell her what I think because that's what friends do (with the best of intentions, of course).
Another thing is that I can't get frustrated with people in my personal life for not having the same problems as the people in my professional life. I know someone who is very, very lucky and also constantly complains about her lot in life and how challenging it is. This person is depressed because she thinks she doesn't have enough. Compared to the lives of my clients, this person has it all - a loving family, friends, ready access to transportation, health, lots of money, nature, a beautiful home, good food, hobbies, and much more. I want to snap at this person, you have it all! STOP COMPLAINING!
But when I roll down my professional lens, I see that this person is also struggling and I cannot judge this person just because my clients have it rougher. Everyone's situation feels pressing to them. This person is just as deserving of love and sympathy as those who are materially and physically lacking. On a spiritual level, my clients and this person are likely in deficit just as much.
Therefore, my personal and my professional lenses must be different (but are also part of the whole lens that makes up me and how I see the world). A whole different topic, relatedly, is how much my professional lens has benefited my personal one - but that's for another day.
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