Being an Elder

Lately I've been thinking a few weird thoughts about being an elder. I have a lot of elders in my life. So does my fiance. We're very lucky. I think this thought got started in February when my godmother came to visit. I realized how weird random chance had brought this woman into my life who is surrogate-mom, friend, care-giver, and a huge piece of stability. Even when I don't talk to her for a few weeks I know she's there and thank God for that. I couldn't live without her.

Maybe, I suddenly thought sometime back in February, I will be that for someone else one day. A surrogate-mama-friend. I have a few of those, actually, my godmother being my primary one (hence, godmother). Shantonu also has lots of family friends whom he calls auntie and uncles. And of course we have lots of "official" relatives - blood- or marriage-related people in our lives.

I guess the weirdness of the thought has come from realizing one day none of these people will be alive anymore. I hope it's far away, but it will happen. And that I will be the eldest and the elder for people in my life. What does that even mean? Will I be ready for that? What does it take to be an elder? I feel like elders in my life are all 1) good at giving gifts, which I am not, 2) patient, which I am only sometimes, 3) reliable, which I am only sometimes, and 4) possess a certain magical quality of stability that I definitely do not feel I have.